Normal Behavior for "Abnormal People"


During a recent session with a client who had ended a relationship, a comment was made about how frustrating it was for him that his former partner could not ever admit to her insane reactions during their relationship. He was immersed in pain over her passive/aggressive approach to dealing with him in so many different ways. He, of course, was equally upset with the fact that out of his own free will he continued returning to a relationship that truly could not work. He saw his role quite clearly, and even acknowledged that he felt "addicted" to the love he desired. And, like any addict, he continued to be involved in an activity (this unhealthy relationship) even though it brought him nothing but constant drama and pain.

The final straw that actually confirmed the fact the he had to let her go for good came as a blessing. After making him promise over and over that if they ever did break up, he would return any of her belongings that she had left at his house, he followed through and packed her items and mailed them to her after their last split. He wanted to keep his integrity, his word, and leave the relationship as "clean" as he could. Just one day later the box was sent back to him unopened with huge black letters all over it stating "return to sender, unacceptable!". Her passive/aggressive, unstable response of sending back to him her own possessions, allowed him to finally release her as he experienced what he came to label as "totally normal behavior for an abnormal person."

If you are involved personally or professionally with individuals who react emotionally in unstable ways, step back and see if you have a role in this behavior. In other words, if you have the choice to stay or go...that is your responsibility. Constant drama does not have to be a part of your every day life unless you choose it to be.

With love and peace,

David Essel

http://www.davidessel.com/

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